The question of whether I was living as a slave or son defined my faith for years. For the longest time, I felt like my relationship with God was just a long list of rules. I thought I had to be a “good Christian,” follow all the do’s and don’ts, and try my absolute best not to mess up. Honestly? It was exhausting, and I felt more like a slave who was always scared of the master than a son who was loved by his father.
Maybe you’ve felt that way too.
Everything changed for me when I realised I had it all wrong. I wasn’t meant to be a slave to performance; I was invited to be a son who was secure in his Father’s love. It was a journey to get there, and I want to share it with you.
The Picture That Changed My Perspective
A story from the Bible completely opened my eyes. It’s about two women, Hagar and Sarah, and they represent two ways of living. Hagar’s way is about human effort and following rules. Sarah’s way is about a promise from God and living by grace. For years, I had been living Hagar’s way. I knew I needed to learn to live like Sarah’s son—a child of the promise.
The Challenges I Faced on the Journey
I have to be honest, though: my journey into this freedom wasn’t an overnight switch. I hit a few bumps along the way, and I want to share them in case you’re feeling them too.
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I realised grace doesn’t mean a problem-free life. For a while, I think I secretly hoped that embracing grace would make all my problems disappear. But life still had its tough days. The real change wasn’t the absence of storms, but knowing I had a loving Father to hold onto in the middle of them.
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I had to find my balance. After living under so many strict rules, the sudden freedom felt strange. At first, I confused true freedom in Christ with an “anything goes” attitude. I had to learn that grace wasn’t a licence to be reckless, but rather the power to live a life motivated by love, not fear.
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I had to fight my resistance to change. My old ways of thinking were comfortable. They were like an old flip phone – I was used to it, and it felt safer than learning something new, even though I knew the new way was so much better. I had to consciously choose to let go of the old legalistic mindset.
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I had to stop myself from drifting back. I noticed how easily my mind could drift back to performance-based thinking. If I wasn’t intentional about soaking in the truth of God’s grace every day, my default setting was to start trying to earn my worth again.
Where the Joy Broke Through
But pushing through those challenges was the best thing I ever did. On the other side, I discovered joys I never knew were possible.
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The things I felt I had to do (like reading my Bible) became things I get to do.
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My Christian life stopped being a struggle and I became a willing participant in what God was doing.
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Telling others about Jesus wasn’t a scary duty anymore. It became something I did naturally, out of joy.
But the biggest change of all was in how I saw God the Father. And it all clicked for me because of a memory from my own childhood.
The Day I Understood the Father’s Heart
I’ll never forget it. I must have been about seven or eight years old, right here in Pinetown. I had been playing outside all day, getting covered in mud and grass stains. I was a complete and utter mess.
For some reason, I decided to go and visit my dad at his office. It was a proper corporate building—clean, quiet, and professional. I walked in with my dirty clothes and bare feet, and I remember the receptionist’s eyes going wide.
But then, my father saw me from across the room.
His face didn’t show anger or embarrassment. It lit up with pure joy. He rushed over, swept me up in a huge hug, and proudly showed me off to his colleagues. He wasn’t focused on the dirt. He was just thrilled to see me. He was proud of me, not because I was clean, but simply because I was his son.
That memory is what finally showed me the heart of my Heavenly Father. He isn’t sitting in a clean, perfect office, disappointed with the mess we’re in. He’s a proud, loving Father who is just thrilled when we come to Him, mess and all.
- He isn’t looking at your dirt; He’s looking at His child. My prayer for you today is that you would see yourself the way He sees you. Not as a slave trying to get it right, but as a beloved son or daughter who is always, always welcome.
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